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Welcome to Orcmid's Lair, the playground for family connections, pastimes, and scholarly vocation -- the collected professional and recreational work of Dennis E. Hamilton
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2006-07-22There Are No Ordinary Moments
Last night, Vicki and I went to Bellevue to see Peaceful Warrior, a limited-release film that has a transformational message. I wanted to see the film after noticing an ad for it on Technorati. Clicking on a web-site sidebar ad is a rare experience for me. Something fascinated me about the graphic of the ad and the title of the film. I viewed the online trailer three times. I then read everything on the film site and on author Dan Millman’s web site. In the end,, we’re both big Nick Nolte fans and that was more than enough for us to purchase tickets on the Internet and see the film on our Friday Night date, last evening. The film is a gift. It showed up in the activities of our life the very next day. {tags: Peaceful Warrior Dan Millman No Ordinary Moment orcmid} We were on a tight schedule to breakfast, dress, and drive to a morning wedding. It meant, starting out, that nothing of our usual morning routine would work and I had to find a different way to accomplish my morning exercise, stay off the Internet except for essentials (reporting to a buddy on some promises made for the previous day), navigate my shaving and shower through our small bathroom as Vicki prepared herself, and be ready to drive 40 miles to the wedding and reception location. Our nephew is marrying a young woman that has brought us all closer together. Vicki had prepared the reception dinner, held on Thursday. Today at 11:05 am (and yes, baseball figures in their lives), Teresa and Eric would marry. It was important occasion for Vicki and I to be there, celebrating our richly expanded family. As we worked through our preparations, I noticed that I could become peaceful by reminding myself simply that “there are no ordinary moments,” a mantra-like expression that I took away from the film the night before. Every time I became anxious or wanting to figure out everything in advance so that we would be prepared and on time, I simply returned to that expression and experienced the moment that was present for me. I also gave up wishing that I’d known before we went to sleep that Vicki wanted to change the routine, though she may not have concluded that until we wakened to the alarm. We backed out of the garage a few minutes before 9:30, our planned departure. That was also different than the typical few-minutes-later of my usual (I don’t want to say ordinary) preparation and departure experience. Driving up the hill toward the main intersection near home, I noticed that the alternator gauge was at the minimum mark on its range. The electronic dash was dim and barely readable — and not just because of the bright sunlight. I drove directly down the other side of the hill and into the driveway of the Goodyear dealer that services our car. Although the car started easily and seemed to be running fine, I did not expect that to continue for the 40 mile trip. They could not work on the car right away, so I left it and we walked home. On the 15 minute walk, Vicki called relatives that were already at the wedding to let them know of our breakdown. One couple who lived between our home and the wedding had not left yet and they would come to us and pick us up. As we reached the main street through our West Seattle neighborhood, we noticed that the street was being closed for a parade. We had gotten through just before the street was closed off. Vicki had given rough directions and exchanged cell-phone numbers for talking our rescuers into the neighborhood, but the closing of the main street was not allowed for. On learning that we would not be picked up until 10:30 am, I urged Vicki to call the couple back and have them not come. There was no reason for all of us to be late to the wedding when Vicki and I were already going to be late. While Vicki was making that call, I was calling a cab company for an estimate of the fare from our house to the location of the wedding. The driver estimated about $70 on the meter. Vicki didn’t want to pay that kind of money for a taxi ride. I suggested that this was a day that she did not want to have missed and celebrated with family and the young couple. She looked at me with acquiescence and I told the driver to pick us up, warning him about the parade obstructions. I immediately walked to the ATM of our bank branch and took out enough cash to cover the fare and a good margin more, just in case. It seemed forever until the cab arrived, approaching from an unexpected direction. The young Somali driver told us a little about his experiences as we continued along side streets until we reached a cross-street that was not closed off by the parade route. We were shortly on our smooth way toward the morning’s event. The wedding invitation provided great directions, and I also had a map and estimate of the quickest route from Windows Live Local that I’d prepared a few days before. Although I was amused to watch the taxi meter’s steady advance, every moment of anxious anticipation was easily dissipated. There was nothing to do but relax in enjoyment of the ride. I was probably calmer than if I was doing the driving and being apprehensive of travel difficulties and navigation errors. We pulled into the driveway of the wedding location as musicians began the first of three songs preceding the seating of parents and procession of the wedding party to the altar that was prepared for the occasion among splendid floral gardens. Following all of the changes of plans, time walking home, making of calls, and directing the taxi, we were quietly seated in the front row before the wedding started. It was a beautiful day and a heavenly event, a progression of perfect moments. We didn’t miss any moment of the wedding, and it all happened with ease once we allowed ourselves to simply not know how it would go and take a different step each time there was some change to accommodate, dancing in the moments. Later, Vicki’s sister and our brother-in-law drove us to our car. We had thrown an alternator belt and the car was now good to go. I didn’t know anything about Dan Millman or his writings until I saw the ad for the film. Vicki tells me that the biweekly housekeeper I had when we first met and married in 1995 was a fan of the book and spoke highly of Dan Millman’s work. I didn’t know that. I know of practices and training and development that resonate with many of the principles expressed through the film. It is also a pitfall to interpret the film as being about something we already know. The key to this film is to pay attention and to avoid concluding that you already know anything about it. Although you may take different things out of the film depending on where you are in your examined life, I suspect there is something that everyone who is open to the experiences dramatized in the story will find to take away with them. When I next watch the film, I am certain that I will observe something that I had not noticed before. As we were leaving the theater, another attendee asked what we thought of it. Vicki murmured that she thought it was interesting. Somehow, that’s not the right word. I also noticed that I had nothing to say. My mind was very quiet, something that I notice can happen in an engaging film, and it seemed that there was no way to talk about the experience. The film addresses aspects of life that are not captured in talking about them. When we remarked about the film with others at the wedding reception today, Vicki observed that the film was intriguing for her. I think that’s perfect. Expect to be intrigued. There’s another way that the film is difficult to talk about. It does not satisfy the dramatic structure of a conventional Hollywood film or television drama, although the production values are certainly of Hollywood quality. There is no resolution in the manner of conventional theatrical movies. Instead of providing answers, this film provides questions, the kind of questions that strike at the heart of what it means to be alive. Pay attention to the questions. Accept the paradox. And enjoy the beauty of the drama and the triumph of the protagonist. Comments: Orcmid, what a wonderful post, and adventure. Susan and I left Rye early Friday morning to catch a plane to Minneapolis and a friend's wedding. The day started wonderfully, and we were speeding down I-95 on the way to Laguardia airport when just before Exit 16 all traffic stopped. We learned from the radio that a collision between two trucks had the entire road closed for seven miles. So we had our own adventure, using some local knowledge of side streets, alternate road and bridges to get to the airport and our gate with 15 min to spare. A two hour rain delay on tarmac followed, but we arrived in good time and, like you and Vicki, had a very nice time indeed. That there are no ordinary moments is a most ordinary fact of life. |
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